Darcma

Sunday we went to a wedding (Darcma). In Kosova the bride (nusja) her female relatives and friends all meet together in her yard. Everybody wants to have their picture taken with the bride. The female relatives of the groom come into the yard singing and surround the bride. They throw candy on her to make her sweet. The bride goes into the house with her mother. Her brothers lead her out of the house to a waiting car. The bride backs into the car. As the car leaves they throw water on the car to show that the bride doesn't even need the dust from her family anymore. She is driven to the home of the grooms family. The groom is waiting on a balcony where he throws candy to the crowd. The bride (who keeps her eyes lowered through the rest of the day and is lead around by her new sisters-in-law). She poses for pictures with the grooms family (with her eyes lowered). Then she serves the family drinks, food, etc. the rest of the evening.

The married female close relatives of the bride dress in their traditional outfits. They wait with the bride. They serve beverages to the guests while everyone waits for the grooms family to arrive.

After the bride leaves, her mother weeps for her. All the other women weep as well...the young women who will miss their relative (the bride might only see her family once a year after she is married)...the young women who will never be a nucia because their generation of men were killed...the older women who are widows and miss their men.

Meanwhile, over in another yard all the men have gathered together and offer cigarettes and cookies to the guests. The men of each family line up and do their show of power thing (kind of like shaking hands after a softball game).